Kids Jokes in English

Kids Jokes in English

  • Mother to Johnny: “how was your exam, is all questions difficult?”
    Johnny: “No mom, all the questions were simple, It was the answers which gave me all the trouble”!
  • During a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”.
    The husband replied to pour some warm water on them.
    After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now”!
  • One day a software engineer drowned at the sea. There are many people on the beach and they heard him crying out. But no one understood what he was trying to say. Can you guess what he was trying to say? “F1, F1”!
  • Customer called to Tech support: “my computer is not connecting to the Internet”
    Tech support: “Ok, which operating system are you using?”
    Customer: “Internet Explorer”!
    Tech support: “No, you just right click on “my computer” and click on the properties menu”
    Customer: “what are you saying, this is not your computer, it is my computer”!
  • Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out?
    Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in.
  • How can you make number seven to an even number?
    Just take the “s” out from it!
  • What is owned by you but mostly used by others?
    Your name!
  • Why did the computer consult with the doctor?
    Because it was suffering from a virus!
  • Guest to the waiter: “Can you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?”

    Waiter: “Sorry, sir, but I’m pretty sure she wants to eat it herself.”

Kids Jokes with Images

Hilarious Jokes For Kids

  • Which is the way chosen by crazy people?
    The psychopath!
  • How can you make a golden soup?
    Just add 24 carrots to the soup!
  • How do the prisoners communicate with each other?
    Through cell phones!
  • In which bank Dracula like to save money?
    In a blood bank!
  • Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
    Ramu: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair of the same at home.
  • “Can you please hold my hand?”A mother asks her son: “Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?”

    Son: “My name is Paul.”
  • Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
    Shamu: Here it is!
    Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
    Ramu: Shamu!
  • Teacher: Ramu, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
    Ramu: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
  • Two donkeys are standing at a roadside, one asks the other: So, shall we cross?

    The other shakes his head: “No way, look at what happened to the zebra.”
  • Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
    Ramu: Don’t bite any.
  • Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    Ramu: A teacher

Jokes for Kids

  • Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
    Ramu: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
  • Teacher: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”
    Ramu: “Sir, my Mother, and Father got married on the same day same time.”
  • Ramu: “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”
    Shamu: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.
  • Ramu: My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
  • Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with ” I “.
    Ramu: I is…
    Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, “I am.”
    Ramu: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
  • I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
  • Husband: Wow, honey, you look really different today. Did you do something to your hair?

    Wife: Michael, I’m over here!
  • Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
    Ramu: “HIJKLMNO”!!
    Teacher: What are you talking about?
    Ramu: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
  • Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”Doctor: “Nine.”
  • One of the most wonderful things in life is to wake up and enjoy a cuddle with somebody; unless you are in prison.
  • A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.

    Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”

    The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”
  • I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.

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